English Earthworms Are Funny
Two days back, i.e. a long time back in the history of a man, I was walking towards my office, drenched in thoughts and rain.
The fact that I had my friend with me walking dint make any difference to me. I was thinking. Usually I stay on the shallow ends of the thought pool... so I was listening to what was my friend was saying. What he was saying has no relevance to this earthworm business, so lets get along..shall we?
I was crossing a roundabout as fast as a car can hit me if it is driven thoughtlessly. I noticed an earthworm slowly (well, slowly in man-terms. It must be as fast as he can..) making its way to the concrete road. The first question that crossed my mind was why he should cross the road!! Well..Why cant he? ‘I’ am crossing the road. He has equal rights to cross the same road the other way. Good good. Let him cross… I made my way ahead by gently passing over him/her! For my ease, am going to refer to them as ‘hims’.[spot a male chauvinist pig here :o)]
As the word goes, one has to cover many roads before he makes to office, isn’t it?
As we were walking through the pathways, alas! there goes another one.. .. there.. another… another one too… oh.. here’s one.. by Jove, there must be a conference or something…. Well, I was going for a conference, why not them? Boy, this is strange. Never have I seen such a number of earthworms out of the soil.. together.. i.e.
My friend was ignorant about whatever was happening down there on the road.(head held high, perhapsJ.. Don’t ask abt me… am a down to earth guy after all……) he went on and on about something. ….. I could hide my surprise… after all, they are mere earthworms…. Nothing not seen in India..
There were black guys, white ones, plump, lean, short, long(tall would be a wrong usage), and mixed coloured ones. Well, see.. I wasn’t listening to what my friend was saying…. I was walking with all earthworms around. Careful not to step on anyone..why to make another earthworm mourn the next day.. u know what I mean :)… well, as we progressed.. I got bewildered… wait a min guyzzzzzzzz….”whats goin on!!!”
As I always do, I started thinking scientifically :-))). {forgive me for this.. those who read this know how poor I am. In ‘thinking’ .tht too scientifically :O)}
Facts first. Earthworms out of soil- normal. I have seen earthworms in India too. Lots of earthworms out- abnormal??? Soil on one side of the road – exactly similar to the soil on the other side. Whats the day? It’s a Thursday. Shouldn’t be the holy-day for earthworms.. there are lot of Thursdays in a year. Climate? Well, its windy, drizzling, cold.. aaah.. it’s the same as other days… what the…..
Hmmmm…. I thunk again( thought as past-tense of think is confusing.. isn’t it?)
Well, you should consider that I was thinking very fast as well… the whole thing was during the short walk to my office.
What could have caused these earthworms to come out? Is it the doomsday? Hey, Nobody told me!!! “Is it?” I asked my friend… he said no.. and went on with his end of talking… boy, nobody other than me worries about all these earthworms being out!!!!
I tried lighting the idea bulb beside me.(refer any comic book for illustration). It doesn’t.. nor does it ring a bell! ( is the electricity out?) SIGH!!! This is beyond me…
I noticed that not all of ‘em were going oneside ( thank lord, it helped me not to walk towards that side of the road so that I would also be out of danger) there must be something…. And it slips me…. Phew…… how many things in this small world do I not know…..
It was time for my conference call. I appreciate you guys not thinking that I should have stayed back and researched more. I have got a show to run, u know….
The day went past quickly…. And so did the thought about earthworms…..
Time for lunch.. ting ting…
I was chatting to my friend while walking towards home…
Eh… there is one- done with…another.... there is one here… huh… another..
“Tell me, my friend, why would an earthworm commit suicide? “
He looked at me in astonishment for a second or two…by my brutal stopping of his train of thoughts… then as he looked high up in the sky, exclaimed..
“ Allah, mujhe bacha le” ( “God, save me”)
Well, I was not surprised. After all, I had seen enough to be surprised for the whole week.
There were lot of them… lot of shoes would have crushed them under.. many men and women would have passed those walkways in a span of 4-5 hours. Nobody than me would have paid a penny for thoughts about earthworms springing out of soil…
Uh-uh….
Earthworms stay in soil. Earthworms can be male or female in the same life span. Earthworms can live ass different entities if cut in to two. Earthworms do a lot of things. But why on earth did they come out in herds and cross the concrete pathways and present themselves to the imminent danger of being over run or over walked???
It is not an eternal philosophical question. Nor does a simple love failure answer lots of such suicides in a day.
On a normal, cold, windy and drizzling Thursday, which is normal in this time of the year, all earthworms come out, Some of them suicide while others make it to wherever they were going to… and here I am, thinking about what all this business is about…
Now then, you tell me.
Aren’t the English earthworms funny?
I have been in my dear India for so long a term that I would have found something like this if it ever happened. I have been in England for the past 3-4 months to know that no earthworms suicide everyday (or on Thursdays for that matter). I have passed several days after the suicides to make sure that from that day onwards no earthworm suicides/crosses pathways like that.
Aren’t the English earthworms funny?
Aren’t the English earthworms fun? Holy bullock carts! I would definitely say YES!
posted by retarded at 10:35 pm
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